Valduggery and Other Deleted Scenes
by NightcatMau
Summary: Since every author seems to be publishing tons of deleted scenes in the back of novels, I figured I'd give it a go. Valduggery, Ghastkyrie, Valguine.
1. Chapter 1

This little bit was originally a piece in My True Love's Form, but never quite fit in the storyline. I also thought it made Skulduggery look a tad weak and emo. So it was scrapped, but I save everything in case it will work in another story.

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I saw by his face that something had changed. He seemed cold. As I watched a small shiver ran through him. He _was_ cold. I got my jacket from the coat rack and tucked it around him. His frame relaxed and Skulduggery sank deeper into his meditation chair.

I got down a book and read, putting my coffee on the end table. About half way into the book I heard him make a soft sound and looked over. His skull was rocking back and forth in his meditation. I could see that his eyes, or the shadows that passed for eyes for him were screwed tightly shut. He gasped, his hands digging into the chair. Skulduggery Pleasant was having a nightmare.

I went over, touched his shoulder. Immediately his head snapped up, and he looked at me. He was never this easy to awaken. He was terrified by whatever the nightmare had been I could tell that. "Valkyrie, you're here!"

"Yes, you brought me here, don't you remember?"

"Yes, but in my nightmare, you left."

"I'm never leaving you Skulduggery Pleasant, not ever."

He grabbed me suddenly, drawing me down onto his lap. "Do you promise me that, Valkyrie Cain? That you'll never leave me, that you'll always be here for me?" He held me to his chest, stroking my head as he spoke. I could feel his deep velvety voice vibrate in his ribs, could hear the wariness in it.

"Of course I do, Skulduggery. I would never leave you, ever. I've always chosen you over everyone else, haven't I? I always knew there'd be no other place for me than here with you. As your partner." I added, hastily.

He continued stroking my hair. "Only as my partner Valkyrie? You want nothing more from me?"

I didn't know what to say to that. Of course I did! But we had agreed there was nothing on his side. He'd told me kissing me had been a mistake. That there was no real love between us. I had to say something though, before my silence hurt him. "I'm very happy being your partner, Skulduggery, and I haven't seen you as happy as you've been the last several days for over a decade. So yes, only as your partner."

"You'd be happy with that?" His voice was flat.

"So long as you are happy, yes." I heard him inhale sharply, I still wasn't sure how he managed half the things he did, and looked up at him. "God you look miserable, Skulduggery, what's wrong?" He dipped his head, refusing to look at me. I touched his cheekbone, gently. He pushed his skull into my hand, seeking affection. Everything clicked into place. All the extra affection, his need to hold me, to touch me. How could I have been so blind?

"Skulduggery, you aren't very happy right now, are you?" He shook his skull, managing to keep it firmly buried in my hand, I noticed. "How long, how long have you-" I couldn't finish my question. What if I was wrong?

"How long have I been sure I'm in love with you?" He asked. I could feel him looking up at me, but he only tilted his skull to get a better position in my hand. I closed it gently, and he sighed. "For a while now. I would have never said anything to you, ever, if I wasn't sure. When I saw you in the armour I hoped it meant you loved me too. Does it?"

"You know it does."

"Shouldn't you be insulting me by now?"

"Would you like me too?"

"No not really, but still..."

"You're the densest man I've ever met. Why in God's name didn't you say something? How's that?"

"Lovely. I just told you why, Valkyrie. You were paying attention, weren't you?"

"Ah, I wondered where your need to insult me went. I've missed that."

"Really?"

No. I'm being sarcastic. Yes, really."

He smiled at me. "We are a fine pair. You know I'll feel free to act as I always do. I'll show no mercy towards your bad taste in music, your mulish inability to listen to anything I tell you to do, or your short attention span. Valkyrie, pay attention!"

"I will when you get to the exciting part."

"That _was_ the exciting part. Those are my good points. Aren't you impressed with me?"

"Mightily. I'll construct a temple in your honor."

"A mere temple wouldn't be good enough, Valkyrie. Unless you become my high priestess and get me throngs of adoring worshipers."

"You know something? In a scary alternate universe, you have them." He laughed, held me close again.

"So you'll stay then, after the case. You're sure of that?"

"Yes, Skulduggery, I'll stay."

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**It would have sort of ended the story far too early and just didn't seem to fit the characters.** **But it kinda works as a vague one-shot. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Originally in My True Love's Form I gave Valkyrie a very different set of wheels in a swap for Christine. It would have created a rift between the two though, so this scene got deleted.

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The waitress was happy to see us, bringing me coffee as soon as I sat. "Say hon? Would you ever think of selling that car? Or maybe a trade? I got a picture here, of the one I have to swap. It's old, and ain't much to look at. My uncle, he's got a big ranch in Texas, he got it for me, says it is a classic, but it can't even run that fast without over heating."

She handed me the photo. I paused, then said. "I could buy this car off of you."

"I'd rather trade."

"It runs?"

"Yes, if you can call overheating all the time running."

"Deal."

"You sure?" I nodded. We shook and I promised to have the car there later that day, papers and everything. She for her part, would have my new car ready and waiting.

"Not that I mind, but what are you trading for?" Skulduggery asked. I handed over the photo and Skulduggery whistled. Even behind the disguise I could feel his glee. I ate and we drove to Gordon's. I got in Christine to drive her back. Skulduggery got in beside me. "You're sure about this?" He asked.

"Yeah, I love Christine, but I always felt she was just with me for a little while. It will be good to see her with an owner who won't drive her off of docks."

We drove back in silence, and the trade was made. The waitress drove off, clearly figuring she had made a sharp deal. Skulduggery and I looked at each other and laughed. "Here, I'm too nervous to drive. You do the honors." I handed him the keys.

"I never thought I'd get to drive a Phantom IV, thank you." We got in, Skulduggery still delighted. "I _knew_ she didn't know cars. Do you know what these go for at auction?"

"Oh I know. I suggest we never come back here in case she finds out, though the transfer was legal." Skulduggery grinned, and put the Rolls Royce into drive. We rode back to his house, people and traffic stopping to stare. A older tourist even whipped off his hat and stood at attention.

"Ah, riding in a car that resembles the Queen's, it does an ego good, doesn't it?" Skulduggery sighed.

"Indeed it does. You're an excellent driver, by the way. Are you sure you've never driven one before?"

"Not a one, though I am familiar with ceremonial cars. I keep expecting her to vanish to be honest." We reached his house and he pulled in behind the Bentley. We got out and admired the two gleaming black cars. "Missing Christine?"

"Not really. I can always get another Chevy. Though Ghastly will throw fits when he finds out."

"Tanith won't though."

"True."

My mobile rang. Ghastly. "Valkyrie? What is your car doing being spotted at a drive in? With a strange woman inside?"

"I traded her."

"You what? For what?"

"Phantom IV."

"A car you can't drive at the speed limit? I thought you loved Christine."

"I've got another car at home. It should run just fine. You're taking this rather calmly, by the way."

"I'm thinking of how thrilled Tanith will be, to be honest. You let her ride in that car and I promise no to lecture you about the sacred bond between car and owner, deal?"

"Deal." We rang off and I looked at Skulduggery. "Looks like Tanith will be getting a ride one day, but no lecture, surprisingly."

"That's why no lecture. Well, let's get inside then. "

* * *

We were just idly reading the papers when my mobile rang. Tanith. "Hey sis, what's up?" I asked.

"You got a Phantom IV?" She squealed so loudly that Skulduggery looked over, shaking his head.

"Yes, and before you ask, yes, you get a ride in it. You have to wait for Skulduggery to teach me to drive her though. He's terrified I'll try and drive her like Christine."

I heard Skulduggery snort and ignored him.

"You better let me have a ride. So we've got ten days to wait for the big fight. I'm so bored."

"Aren't you with Ghastly?"

"No he's doing something in a meeting."

"You know, if you joined the Sanctuary at last, they'd let you in all the boring meetings you could desire."

"But I'm not on the case, am I?"

"Says who? Like you're staying out of a good fight. I know you'll show up anyhow, so let Ghastly know you want in on the meetings. Just go in and sit in back. He'll ignore you, but that's his way of giving his approval."

We rang off and I caught Skulduggery staring at me. "You know so much about how Ghastly's mind works, it's scary."

"You taught me."

"Point taken."

"She's doing a lot, committing to a Sanctuary, but she will, for him." I said.

Skulduggery nodded. "Like you did for me?"

"Mmm-hmm. I hate rules and regulations but I'll put up with them so long as I get to keep you as a partner."

"I always wondered why you started to listen."

"A lecture from Ghastly one day."

"Must have been frightening. Where was I?"

"In the magical room of filing cabinets searching for something. I realized I'd have to listen or he'd ship me home and put you in a pine box for not controlling me. At least that was the impression he gave."

Skulduggery made an amused sound. "He told me once my welfare was a great motivator to get you to listen, now I know what he meant."

* * *

** Just did not work in the story, but OK as a stand-alone read.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Prolix II**

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Originally this was going to be set after the first story with Prolix in Fluffy Valduggery. But it just seemed ready to morph into a storyline, so I dropped it. Thanks goes out to **NarahSelson** for reviewing!

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Several days later Skulduggery rang her mobile, telling her to be ready, and that he'd be there to pick her up in about ten minutes. Valkyrie was thrilled to hear his voice again, but bit back the 'I missed you.' she knew would bring an awkward silence on his end.

Luckily she was ready quickly because he was there in five minutes, and Valkyrie could feel the tension as soon as she got in the Bentley. Even his facade looked angry.

"How was your case?" She asked, and he shot her a glare.

"Seat belt." He ordered, gruffly.

"Skulduggery, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. You just ask too many questions at times, Valkyrie. Well, we have a new case, I have the files in my office, so we'll head there then, shall we?"

Valkyrie felt hurt but she remembered what Prolix had told her and managed a smile of agreement.

"Happy, are we? I can see you didn't miss me then." Skulduggery growled.

"I did miss you Skulduggery. You just normally don't want to hear that kind of thing."

"Mmm. You still could tell me. I apologize, Valkyrie. The case didn't go well at all. I missed having you there with me."

"Then you should have taken me."

"It was simply too dangerous."

"More dangerous that a burning building?"

"What?" Skulduggery pulled over to the shoulder of the road.

"I was following up something on my own, nothing important really. But it turned out to be a trap, so I was in a burning building with now way out. But I was rescued by a man who lived nearby so it all worked out in the end."

Skulduggery stared at her. "I could have lost you. Do you at least know the man's name? I'd like to thank him in person."

"I should he nursed me back to health for several days."

"So his name is?"

"Prolix Loquacious."

Skulduggery groaned and reseted his hear on the Bentley's steering wheel. "You did not just say that. What did he tell you? No, what didn't he tell you, it would be a shorter list."

"He told me all sorts of things."

Skulduggery sat back and sighed. "I can imagine. If anything he told you about me, about us, our partnership or upset you Valkyrie, I'll understand if you want me to take you home."

"I liked what he had to say Skulduggery."

"I'm sure you did. I'll take you home then. Wait, you liked what his had to say?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then I take it he had nothing to say about us."

"He did. He used the word 'fancy' a lot."

Skulduggery sighed. "I'll take you home, I''m sorry you had to find out that way, and I've told him repeatedly not to use that word. I do apologize, Valkyrie. You were never meant to know. I can only imagine how terrible it was to find out, trapped with him like you were."

"Skulduggery, one I wasn't trapped, he rescued me. Two, what part of 'I liked what he had to say' didn't you catch?"

"You're not serious?"

"I am."

"Valkyrie, you don't have to tell me things just so we remain partners and friends."

"I'm not, Skulduggery. I told him I liked you too, after all."

Skulduggery smiled. "You did? You're serious?"

"I am."

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**Plot bunny sort of ran away from me and hid at that point.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tailor Deleted Scene**

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I don't own Ghastly, Erskine or Valkyrie. Val is still 24. I deleted this scene because Erskine just seemed too creepy here. The story was going to take a very dark turn if I left it, so out it went. Thanks to **SP** for reviewing. Enjoy!

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Erskine looked up when we entered his office flashing me what I'm sure he thought was charming smile. Ghastly put a protective hand on my shoulder and the Grand Mage's face fell. But he looked over at me again and I got the impression he was going to extend an invitation to meet him alone for some kind of claptrap reason when Ghastly simply shifted his weight.

It was subtle, something most people would have missed, but it was a clear threat, and suddenly the Grand Mage remembered what we were there for. "Right. Usually this is your job, Ghastly, but as we are down a detective, duty calls. You're case files are somewhere over there, somewhere." He made a vague gesture towards a side table Tipstaff had been faithfully putting paperwork on that Erskine could rarely be bothered with if Tipstaff didn't hover.

"You don't even know what the case is about?" Ghastly asked angrily. He hated seeing people neglect their work, and it looked like it would be an interesting lecture. but Tipstaff appeared and waved for me to follow him out into the hall. That was strange but then the Sanctuary Administrator was a strange man. He hovered over Erskine, ever attentive, often having to be ejected from his office by the Grand Mage yelling at him. Now he was looking at me in concern.

"Detective Cain, my dear, good to have you back with us. It certainly isn't my place to say anything, but I'd rather you didn't ever come back to the Grand Mage's office without a male escort. You've always been kind to me, and I'd rather not see you get hurt."

I smiled at him. "I'd rather not come back here by myself. He can go ahead and fire me for all I care."

"He can do all the firing he likes, I have a feeling the paperwork will get lost somehow. You will take my advice and never come alone, even if he threatens you with something?"

"Everything in the Sanctuary is an open secret anyhow, let him threaten. Oh, you mean about Ghastly, don't you?"

Tipstaff nodded. "I wouldn't put it past him. He wouldn't go so far as to attack you, but I don't trust him around you. He can't do anything to Ghastly anyhow. You both have friends here. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything, he's never done anything like that before, but the man scares me when he looks at you. Maybe because I'm not much of a man myself-" Tipstaff blushed faintly. There were cruel rumours about the man because although masculine he was delicate of build and demeanor. Tipstaff was fussy, he was overly fond of rules, and he could hover to the point of annoyance. But he was still a man all the same and seeing him treated as anything less made me angry.

"You be careful, Tipstaff. There are detectives here that well- You're a kind, gentle man and they find that a threat. Women like you and they find that a threat as well. Just be careful, all right?"

Tipstaff blushed again, pleased. "Thank you, Detective Cain. But you don't get to be an Administrator in a Sanctuary without knowing strong defensive and offensive magic. I'm a rarity both Adept and Elemental. I can take care of myself it's you I'm worried about."

"I'll be careful." I leaned in and gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. I knew poor Tipstaff liked women just fine. They just never took him seriously as a man. Tipstaff beamed at me.

"Good, good. Let's go in and get your case files, shall we?" I nodded and he held open the door for me. He escorted me to the side table and handed me the files. Ghastly came over and nodded his thanks and we left.

I waited until we were in the van to ask the obvious question. "Exactly where was the Grand Mage?"

"Out cold on the floor. He implied something about my partner I rather resented."

"Fine, fine. Now we both out of a job." I teased, and Ghastly laughed.

"He just needs hit every so often to knock some sense into him where women are concerned. You're obviously never to go to his office alone, not ever. I care about you as a friend and although Erskine isn't a bad man he'd see nothing wrong in seducing you to prove he could, and he wouldn't care about any claim I had on you either, which is why I hit him just now. Sorry, you didn't need to know that."

"I didn't need to know you'd protect me from him?"

Ghastly wouldn't look at me as he answered. "I have no right to say I have a claim on you, Valkyrie. I apologize."

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**Obviously as time went on Valkyrie was indeed his girl. Like I said, a tad too dark for the storyline but hoped you liked it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Hit**

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A/N: I don't own Billy-Ray or Valkyrie. Billy-Ray Jr. and Jessie are my OCs. Val is about 230 here, trust me, it will make sense. Story is in her point of view. This one is an example o a one-shot that just died on me and refused to move. Valguine, obviously.

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We were back in Ireland after two hundred years, and I had to admit the country was different, but no more so than Texas was. Building styles had changed and fashions, but not much else. What had changed was how Billy-Ray was acting. We'd been married for over two centuries now, and we only loved one another more and more each day. But with two new additions to the family, well, new-ish, travel had become an adventure in itself, and I was worried the hitman deluxe was going to walk out the door one day and not come back.

Not that he didn't love Billy-Ray Jr. as the best son ever born or dote on Jessie as the first daughter in existence. No father had ever loved his children more. Billy-Ray made sure both of them could fight with a razor, shoot a gun, and had me give them some combat maneuvers training as well. We didn't ever have to worry about our kids because they could take care of themselves.

But lately he'd been edgy, and I knew it was because of being back in Ireland. I'd always gone on hits with him before, and we always shared the responsibility. But he didn't want the kids near it, stating firmly they could get hurt. So for twelve years I'd been stuck in countless motel rooms watching our brood and wondering if Billy-Ray were the type of man to get bored and stray.

I was trying to approach him about it as the children slept in the adjoining room. "Billy-Ray, what is the use of all that training if you won't let them fight?"

"They are too young, little darlin'. We've been over this before."

"I was fighting when I was twelve." I growled.

"With a man that should have been horse-whipped for dragging you into danger."

"Skulduggery didn't drag me into anything, Billy-Ray."

"Oh, that's right, you went. Maybe you all would like to go to him now. Maybe he regrets turning you down."

"Maybe you want me to, Billy-Ray. Maybe you're just looking for an excuse to go see Tanith. Maybe there isn't even a hit at all and that's what we're here for."

Billy-Ray's face contorted in anger. "How dare you imply that I would step out on you? I've been faithful for over two centuries and you still don't trust me? Well if that don't beat all."

Silence fell and we both looked away. We were both too proud to back down, but we rarely fought. We'd certainly never yelled at one another, not like this. I was fighting back tears, and I could see Billy-Ray was doing the same. We hated fighting. "Billy-Ray, I'm sorry. But you've been leaving me behind for twelve years. I miss being with you on a hit. I'm frightened every time you go out that door alone you're not coming back."

Billy-Ray stepped forward, wrapping his arms around me. "Hush now, little darlin'. I know it's tough to stay here and miss all the fun, But I've been missing you too. I just can't put our babies in danger, and they are still babies to me. I remember holding them in the delivery room. But maybe you're right, maybe they are ready. I just- I couldn't bear loosing them and I'm terrified that if you're worried about one of them one of the targets will get you."

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**I think it just started out wrong and went south on me for there. Ah well.**


End file.
